Keeping memories intact
4 September 2007, 12:02 am. View comments. Filed under Personal.
I just know I will suffer from amnesia when I grow older. People remember lots of things I don't remember. At the moment, my short-term memory for school content allows me to pass tests and exams, but many happy memories from years back—I lose track of them. I'm 17 and I'm aging fast. (Over-twenties will murder me.) I hold on to grudges more than I can hold on to my young happy memories.
Since entering university this year, I've met many of my old friends from intermediate (middle-school I think it's called in other weird parts of the world) and some people have brought up funny things from the past. I feel sad because I can't laugh with them due to failure of memory. Thus I have come to recognise the importance of blogging/diary-keeping to me.
Before I close down my blog one day I shall print out my pages or keep some form of back-up so I can refer back to my young days when I become a true old hag. One particular morning this year, I woke up to sad thoughts and sat on the bedroom floor crying. My sister had no sympathy and continued tidying out her old drawers until we discovered my 1998-2002 childhood diary. On 30 November 2001 I stole a cheek-kiss from a guy and called my sister "mean, fat and ugly". (That poor guy told me I did such a thing this year and I didn't believe him. Memory failure.) I found my young self so cute I then switched over to laughing with happy tears and my sister came physically attacking me.
In my 2002 homework diary, I had almost all my classmates' phone numbers and addresses and some of them still live at the same address with the same phone. I told myself back then that I will organise a ten-year reunion so I couldn't throw that diary away. I chucked every single other homework diary.
And the messy pages of my dream diary never fail to replay distorted fantasy scenes in my head.
Perhaps one day when I'm so old with nothing better than court cases and decades-old grudges to remember, I will have no happy memories to refer back to until... I lift up the wooden floorboard of my bedroom and discover pages of kiddy handwriting and Appassionato. (And die happily ever after.)
... This is me getting tired of studying Economics tonight. Talking nonsense about the past feels so much better than looking into the future five tests.
Update: I also have Christmas cards from almost ten years ago! Such a junk collector...
16 Comments »
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Ah I love looking back on old diary entries. I've had my blog since I was about... 15-16 and it's fun (and sometimes embarrassing!) to see how I was back in those days. Yay for reminiscing!
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I have no interest in looking back at my old entries just yet. I still have my journal from grade 3.
It turns out that I'm not all that interested in myself, and I don't have the writing skills to keep myself entertained.
My problem is that I don't necessarily forget, but I'm afraid that when I look back at things, my memories are distorted by how what I wanted them to be. And if they're bad, I make them worse than they really were. -
I'm exactly the opposite from you! (: I have short term memory problems, and in conjunction with carelessness, I lose wallets/watches ALL THE TIME. I had to replace my watch three times in the past year
Haha, and I'm here because I don't want to do my Chemistry homework (: -
Now that I think about it, I can't really remember most of my elementary school years... I have horrible memory, so I should probably take your advice and print out the pages of my blog one day. I always get really nervous when I read my past blogs because I seem so... childish? That might have something do with the fact that people get older every day. ;)
Man, I'm thirteen and I feel like a seventy year old now. I wheeze and cough and I tell people to stay off my mom's lawn. -
Memory loss, I know what you are going through, Rilla. The only thing I can tell you is to do is write your experiences down in a journal to relive later. That is what I do so that way I can go back & remember what happened.
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I have an extremely selective memory. I remember some very stupid and very special things. But the important stuff, like biology notes, I can only manage to pound into my head long enough for a test, and then I forget it all.
How often do we look back at our younger selves and think, "Wow, I was such a little cutie back then. Wonder what happened?" lol -
I have a journal from third grade, as well. I need to go find that thing... It was one of those gel pen ones on black paper, and when I was in third grade, it was the "fad," even for us guys. Then I stopped writing because I didn't have to anymore. (We had to keep journals in some grades in elementary school.)
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My mom recently found one of my old diaries from when I was in third grade. Over a decade old! I was stunned by some of things I wrote in there, mostly because a lot of the things I wrote I don't remember ever happening.
I have a ton of old diaries around, it's funny and intriguing to look back and see what was going through your head at the time. -
I'm glad I have a pretty good memory.
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Aww! What a sweet blog =]
I agree with you. I'm sorry you have trouble remembering happier younger times, although diaries and anything even pictures, papers, letters you wrote/have from years ago are precious things to revive the mind of those sweet days. :] I collect and keep so many things for that very purpose, as I feel it's so nice to have something special to look back on =]
I've been journaling for years now it seems, just writing of the joy and sorrow of life's events are special.
I enjoyed your blog, please have a nice day =] -
Oooh, that sounds like a pretty neat idea! Although, I hate reading my diary when I was younger since I am reminded of so much things I disliked during those days, haha.
I tend to remember unimportant things like what someone first said to me, than you know, ever important school stuff
Eeep, five tests :O! Good luck with that! -
I have a wonderful long-term memory..it's the short-term memory that fails me. I remember little random things that no one else does and sometimes they look at me like I'm crazy. I think it's really important not to forget where we've been and what we've done!
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I'm happy I can remember "some" things from the past. And when I forget, I run to my parents and ask them.
You should keep a diary, a scrapbook, prints from your blog, etc. They'll be wonderful once you reach the amnesia-stage.
I'll try those things, too
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My classmates were always exasperated with me because I remember even the most insignificant details... they just kept staring at me and wondering how the HELL I could...
There's actually ONE thing I don't remember, yet my classmates insisted it happened though they might have been making fun of me. That I screamed during first year in elementary school when we wen to get shots... Thing is I don't remember ever having had shots before 8th grade (last year of junior high). -
Wowwww I always wish I'd kept a diary when I was smaller. I used to try like every year, but I could never keep it up
Luckily I have a pretty good memory though, so it's not all bad.
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It's always an interesting journey to look at things from the past. I always feel like I've gained a lot of insight and wisdom since then.
It's unfortunate that you forget things, but hopefully you'll be more motivated to record things now and be able to look back on a lot one day.