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Superficial beauty tips

Categorised as Rants & tagged with beauty, funny, girls, lists, tips.

It must be an Asian thing. Because I don’t see a lot of non-Asians doing it, and it must be all due to (Asian) guys liking it this way.

1. Enlarge the eyes:
   Hold the camera with your hand held up high, keep face rel­at­ively straight, no smile but lips slightly open and stare upwards with bulging eyes. You end up looking like an idiot innocent little angel.
2. Kill the blemishes and whiten up:
   Open your photo in Photoshop. Since you never dis­covered the Healing Brush Tool, airbrush over your countless bursting pimples and hairy moles. And oops your face is now a terrible blur, but don’t panic. Duplicate the layer, do a lovely Gaussian Blur and set the Blend Mode to “Overlay”. You end up with ghastly beautiful and dreamy.
3. “Decorate” your plain face:
   This is when you get out your Photoshop maple-leaf brush and “spice up” your dead face. Altern­at­ively, draw some sweet hearts and a little crown above your head. Make sure the colour of these dec­or­a­tions clash with your photo so they stand out! Oh look at the monster umm… princess!
4. So what happens if you’re still not cute enough?
   Retake another photo with your tongue stuck out or lips puckered up. But remember girls, must hold your camera up high!

Sarcasm aside, all these different girls end up looking exactly the same in their photos. When you meet one of them in real life, the contrast between her photo and person now becomes super­fi­cial ugliness. Because the truth is, her eyes aren’t that big, her skin isn’t that blemish-free, her face is only as plain as they really are and you can’t expect her to stick her tongue out and pucker up her lips the whole time.

They just killed the whole natural beauty thing. But even unpro­cessed ancient black-and-white pho­to­graphy managed to preserve my beauty:

Baby Rilla

That’s what you call big eyes, blemish-free, cute face and most important of all–natural beauty.

Call me jealous for being too lazy to do make-up and Photoshop my face, but I’d much rather spend my money on food and con­trib­ute my time to drawing more appealing works of art.

Hard test and crazy students

Categorised as School & tagged with law, tests, uni.

I finished my mid-semester LAW 131 Legal Method test at 8.10 pm tonight and came back home sulking. It was really hard. My parents were scolding me because they always think I’m the only one who ever finds the tests hard. Wrong!

We had to analyse and apply a case so there wasn’t a lot of content to study for before­hand and I did various past tests for practice as well. Unfor­tu­nately, it really was crazy hard and I had five minutes left in the end to write an essay. In those five minutes I wrote a brief intro­duc­tion and two screwed para­graphs of five lines each – I’m expecting a 5/25 there.

Some crazy students from the row sitting behind me walked out of the test room saying how it was actually not too bad and pretty easy. “Yeah I think I probably got a B.” That ori­gin­ally made me scared but my law tutor said they must’ve screwed it somewhere. Even a lecturer in another room announced that it was a very hard test too.

So it wasn’t just me, really. My tutor super­vised another room and told me about this crazy student. She handed her test in after the first 30 minutes, saying it was too hard and she wanted to take the last train home. That brought out a “LOL” from me. Too cute. He now refers to her as train girl.

I don’t get the point of setting crazy hard tests and also marking crazy strictly where everyone generally performs horribly bad and you’re having to scale it up more than ten marks in the end. My final law exam from last semester was scaled up 12 marks. I shouldn’t complain about it because there’s nothing bad about jumping two grades but honestly, it’s pointless.

Rest tonight, study for next week’s two tests tomorrow and the weekend. My near-future looks so daunting. But on the other hand, if we skip two months, I have a four-month summer holiday between November and March. It’s great how they just take out a third of a whole year like that.

Gazing into the future

Categorised as Personal, School & tagged with tests, uni.

I would like a nice cozy house, a sexy boy, a (mixed) pretty baby and a hot pig. (It’s not really weird, I love my stuffed pig “dulu” and I’ll make him sleep between me and the sexy boy.)

// end dreaming

I had trouble deciding which general education paper to take for summer school in January. I thought about Japanese, but the uni­ver­sity won’t let me to take the Japanese paper because I’m “too advanced” in it already. And then I thought of DANCE 101G because I’m a total dance dork, but none of my friends would do it with me. So, my friend pushed me to take Philo­sophy with him. How is philo­sophy? I know some of you art lovers out there might have taken it or are currently taking it. It sounds hard.

I hate night exams. I just finished my Economics test at 8:30 and got home at 9. For the whole day before the test, I would be studying for the test. And once I get home from 12 hours in school, I’m too tired to study more for the next test. The truth is, I really need to study for the next test because I hadn’t done any work on it before. Even­tu­ally, I end up studying late, sleeping little, getting pimples, growing ugly, no sexy boy and no one wants me for life.

// end nightmaring

I always knew how dodgy my site URL might sound to some people, but this is the cutest search referral to this site I have found so far: “WILD ON X”. Time to update my site name?