You, me, or them?
11 October 2007, 5:10 pm. View comments. Filed under Miscellaneous.
How exactly do you balance your priorities in life? Do you put yourself first? Or your friends? Or the wider community?
When you procrastinate from studies, are you relaxing for your own sake? Or are you spending hours counselling sad friends and writing research essays for them? Or maybe you're writing recommendation letters to the local council or national government, advising them on how to improve the country? Or maybe I see you on the TV protesting on global environmental issues? Hmm.
My friend leaves his assignments unfinished and study on the day of his tests. He's too busy advising friends and going as far as writing all the essays for his friend who struggles in English. Would you fail yourself for other people? I know I wouldn't. Or is it just because I'm a cold-hearted pragmatist? Friends are important, but I'm not sure about sacrificing my exam grades for other people's relationship problems. As for essays... There's a reason why zoo animals can't survive in the wild because they have forgotten how to hunt for themselves.
How about wars? If you were male, would you voluntarily put yourself forward to fight for the country? (Or ironically, fight for "world peace") If I have nothing better to do in my life and I'm seeing all the people suffering and dying around me, I might actually go ahead and "suicide" but... No, I'm not doing that at the moment.
Perhaps I'm just a selfish egg, but I believe people need to learn to put their own priorities ahead, except in extreme cases. School test or save friend from dying? I'll prove I'm not completely cold-hearted by choosing the latter (if such situation ever arises).
20 Comments »
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I'm selfish: that's a fact. Not a good thing I know. But like you said, I pretty much put myself first for a lot of things. If I had a friend like yours, I'd be advising him/her against helping others do what they should be doing on their own, for his/her and their own good.
But if it were some desperate situation, I may be unselfish. But, who knows. Nothing like that has happened (and hopefully won't).
Hmm, maybe I'm not that good as a friend. My close friend's very nice.. too nice really. And I'd say, people take her for granted sometimes. Oh well, the pros and cons.. -
Things change when you become a parent and a spouse. At that point your life becomes nothing more than a series of sacrfices. Not that it's a bad thing. There's something to be said for unconditional love.
As for the military, I tried joining, but I was rejected for health issues. I have much respect for the men and women in the military. -
I think that I'm reeeally selfish. I tend to prioritize myself a lot, and my list of priorities kind of looks like this:
1. Me
2. Me
3. Me
...
100. Me
101. School
102. Family
103. Work
Hehe. I do like to help people, and I do like to pay attention to the "friends" I have left, only after I've taken care of everything I need to do for myself. Oh and I would never put myself through war, the concept of "the war to end them all" or "fight for world peace" is complete contradictory and ridiculous, I feel sorry for those who involuntarily and even voluntarily have gone to war. It is pure suicide for nothing. Because no one but your family cares if you are a dead "hero". -
I'm fine with helping friends, but not at my own expense. I would certainly not write an essay for a friend. However, the reasons for that are not entirely selfish: I believe that in the long run, my friends will benefit more if I don't help them, because they will learn and improve by themselves. It's the survival of the fittest. Helping them excessively and doing their work for them is only going to teach them to leech off of friends everywhere they go, and they will never advance in life that way.
Of course, helping a little here and there is totally fine, but I'm talking about writing their essays for them. Plus, that is illegal here, and the consequences are severe.
When I procrastinate, it's usually for myself. XD Drawing, surfing the web, reading, that kind of thing. -
Sometimes helping yourself is the key to helping others. Sometimes it's good to take a little time out and to stop doing things for other people! Something that I am certainly not guilty of.
I'm normally very forward with my work: I get it done early. I do tend to help others with their work but only if I know they appreciate it. I'm not going to be holding their hand through exams too! Sometimes when I find myself doing nearly all their work, I have to point that out.
I wish you were seeing me on TV talking about Climate Change! -
I don't put myself first alot of the time and I help others when I can but so much that I sacrifice my own marks.
That friend you have is... special shall I say? Because in this current day in age you really don't find many people as selfless as he is. But yeah if I were you I'd advise him to do more for himself. Yes helping people is good and all but doing it to the extent that you're potentially sacrificing you're own future for others is just stupid. -
If there was war and I would have to protect my country I would. I wouldn't attack any other country, though. I'm against war and would only fight if it was for me and my country. Well, and my family.
Guess I'm loyal but selfish as well. But I would always do anything for what I believe in. -
I'll be honest and to tell you the truth, I love helping people out, but I won't sacrifice myself too much for them, if it's important for me in the long run.
Actually the worst part about helping someone once is that they'll come back again, and it's sometimes annoying when you have your own problems to face and such. So I hafta make white lies to them by saying I'm busy or something. Or else it'll overburden me and I just break down.
Overall, I'm a selfish person
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I'm like you. Friends are cool but you have to do your own stuff before helping them. If they are friends at all they should understand. Personally I would spend the time helping them learn something or how to do it for themselves rather than just doing it for them. But again, after my own stuff. It's not being selfish, it's being a realist. If his friends are half the friend he is, they wouldnt let his stuff be put off until last for them. And that is the sad part, they dont seem like friends at all.
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I generally give to others, but I admit I can have a bit of a selfish side. I want to be successful, and sometimes that means being a little greedy. And I would never go to war ever. I'm too weak, for one, but I also don't believe in fighting. Still, I respect those that do.
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Call me crazy or something, but this all becomes the quote: "Sacrifice ourselves for the greater good" where in the end no matter if you are helping others, or doing your own assignments, we end up in a scale between helping others and helping yourself.
Heck, helping others shows your not selfish because thats an issue with me.
Yes, I'm a bit selfish because I tend to work for my ambitions. My work = needs to get done > helping others.
If I don't have any work, sometimes I help my parents.
So sometimes I "Sacrifice myself for the greater good." -
This is one the hardest things you will have to choose. On one hand you will have your friends yelling at you that they should be your priority and on the other hand you know that you are your priority. Unfortunately, there is not easy answer to the question. The way I handled it was my friends learned that unless it was life or death they had better handle it or it waited until I got there as soon as I could. I was always there for my friends no matter what but I never made myself suffer for it. I always have it go on a situation by situation basis. Sometimes if the situation called for it, I would suffer and other times, I wouldn't. I don't know if this helps or not.
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In response to your comment, how come you don't get a strapless bra? :O That way you don't have to worry about the straps.
I love how I pop in with a comment about strapless bras when everyone else is talking about selfishness and friends and the greater good. =.= -
There is a few people I put before myself. That is my daughter and my husband. It of course always depend on the situation but generally I put them first. Their wishes, their needs and such. I don't mind because in a way it's like caring for an investment. If they are down - so am I.
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I would chose myself above my friends when it comes to academics. I would rather get a good grade in my classes if I were to chose whether or not to help a friend with his/her assignment. I might help them if I have everything accomplished though.
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Honestly, I tend to put myself first. Right now I'm taking a term off of uni to take care of my health and my mum, actually. If I don't take care of myself, I'm not going to be able to properly care for my family and my mum really needs it right now.
I'm such a procrastinator, but when I procrastinate, instead of giving myself a break, I just stress myself out more. I need to quit doing that.
Honestly, I would never do schoolwork for a friend, particularly essay-writing. I struggle to make myself do it for myself, much less other people! When I was in high school I let my friends copy my answers sometimes, but they did the same for me as well.
I would never go off to fight in a war, even if drafted. In the country my family is from, military service is compulsory and you have to remain in the military reserves until you're aged 50. The reason my parents took me and my brother out of the country was so we wouldn't be compelled to fight against our will like they were, particularly in a cause we didn't necessarily believe in. -
Oh ... I see XD
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But how do you say no to people when they're asking for help? = S
I find that almost impossible, it's just so.. hard. -
Meh. I know it's hard. I just... Make up excuses.
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I think I definitely put myself first. I just look for any "excuse" to procrastinate, and if it means doing someone else's easy homework for them, I just might do it.
I routinely ditch my friends at lunch/after school to study/do work. I think I'm being more realistic and thinking of the long run...