Getting over it
11 April 2008, 10:43 pm. View comments. Filed under Personal, Rants.
Oh. The irony. No more than two or three days after I wrote up a brief "Romance" paragraph about my latest boyfriend, I had to erase it and announce myself Single again (yesterday).
So uh... I've been having my ups and downs. Up: really hyper moments of cracking up so much that my stomach gets in pain (from dotting a huge mole on my best friend's face with a vivid marker). Down: hurling things across the room and throwing my new cellphone out the window... Ok no, not that far. Just incredibly sore eyes from you-know-what. Thanks to whoever has been listening to any bit of my blabbing about it. Certainly, the most typical way for a typical girl to get over a guy is to bitch about him in some way shape or form (whether or not he's been a good or bad boyfriend) and receive encouragement from peers such as "You're pretty and smart, you'll find someone better in no time!" (Leave the personal attacks to other private forms of communication, not the comments here.) But the most effective way would be for a new charming dude to walk up within three days, of course. How do you get over someone then?
Has anyone else noticed how much harder it is to find a new partner in university than in school? And being a lazy girl who's always preferred just sitting back and waiting for the next guy to trot along, I'd like to bet with you all that I'll remain single for at least another two years. If I lose well... whatever. 
I'm not (that) desperate to throw myself into the arms of any seemingly-acceptable guy but I like the feeling of having someone to invest my thoughts and feelings into. So really, I just want a target I can spy/stalk. It gives me some sense of direction.
Which just reminds me of the little rant blog post I wrote 180 days ago on Bebo. Why Bebo and not here? Well, it was during the supposed blog break I took to study last November. It would've been stupid if I posted some long blog post here two days after announcing my "break". It was directed towards my friends who were just finishing their very last days of high school and they apparently found it somewhat entertaining. So if you're any interested, here's what I found to be The Truth About Romance In Uni:
Don't you just love being single? You can play, all you want, with one guy, two guys, three girls, four girls. And no one has the right to come bite your head off afterwards.
There are certain parts of this entry which should not be taken too seriously. Go by your intuition.
18 Comments »
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I don't think he was attempting to change me in anyway. But a few friends have said I was changing myself.
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Break-ups are difficult. The best way to handle them comes to your attitude. I'm pretty sure someone has pulled the "Stay positive!" card, but it really is the best advice. I agree that finding a boyfriend while in University is a pain, mostly because there are so. many. people, but there's no point in rushing things. Enjoy your single life! The right guy will come along in his own time.
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People spend so much time *looking* for someone to love who loves them back. But really, I think it just happens. You can't force it. Just, live your life for you, and one day you'll look up and see that you've found the right person for you, and you didn't even realize it. It's okay not to realize it right away, because then you won't be inclined to force it.
I don't want to attack your ex-boy, but I am excited at the prospect of cute Rilla who isn't always thinking about what her boyfriend wants making a comeback. I don't mean to say you were a total drone, because you certainly were not! But I could certainly tell he had a bit of a not-nice effect on you sometimes— and I don't even get a chance to speak to you very often!
Anyway let me wrap up this novel, okay? Don't cry for too much longer if you can! Because you ARE pretty and smart and you really do NOT need a boy!
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I'm sorry about the breakup, however it happened, it mustn't have been very pleasant. I'm happy to see that you have the spirit and willingness to move on! That's always a good sign.
Well I've never had a relationship in high school and I do now that I'm at Uni so I guess I gotta disagree with your school/uni availiabty idea. Hmm I dunno, I find that there's a bigger variety of guys in Uni, guys that can share one's own sense of humour and interests. I was never interested in the guys at my high school anyway. -
I completely agree with your "truth about uni" rant. It IS the truth! It's so much harder to meet guys in uni (when they're sober), and most of them are... you guessed it - taken! My male friends go from taken to single and back to taken in the span of 3 days. Dating is like a marathon - no not even, a sprint - to the finish line! And in most cases, I haven't even left the starting block, and the race is over.
So now I'm just hovering around the starting block, patiently waiting for the next race. Fat lot of good that'll do me. -
*hugs and squishes*
I'm sorry for what happened, I didn't know you guys were having that kind of difficulties
It know it must feel pretty bad right now. Even with my last bf, who I had stopped caring for, it kinda hurt.
How to get over it? With time, but not trying to replace him with right away. When the right one comes, he comes. Like Aisling said, don't look for him. Just live, have fun, meet people and you'll find him, probably unintentionally.
I have to agree with you about meeting people in university. Of all the people I've met in my two years of univ, I only keep in (some) contact with two of them. It's hard to meet people and it's even harder to keep in contact with those you meet. So don't go crazy trying to meet people, because it's hard (and specially if you are aiming to meet potential soulmates XD).
You are HOT and cute and smart, and you so DON'T need a man. You need me (lol jk but ilu 
)
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Oh ... this really took me by surprise. I totally did not see this coming.
But, well, I guess if you want advice, then I'd say I agree with Lene. The only way to get over a breakup is time. I also find that hanging out with friends a lot helps too (don't hang out around couples, though, it just makes you feel worse. x.x )
Hope you feel better soon Rilla *hugs* -
I don't have any advice for you coz I've never had a breakup but I do however agree with you on the uni thing and Aisling too....
I just don't find that are <i>enough</i> hot guys that are both smart <i>and</i> hot and that aren't complete dweebs around for us (amazingly awesome -
) girls that are smart, hot and just real awesome
And, it does certainly takes time, but I don't have much credibility... only in crushes. Heh._ -
My offer of killing your ex is still open
Just to make sure you get over him too 
LOL, I read your "The Truth About Romance In Uni" and it made me lulz. It's quite true, including in highschool, minus the fact that you don't know who's gay or who's nice, etc.
There's no such thing as a perfect guy with perfect grades, hot looks, etc all in one. God created them to make them lack in something, and the so called 'perfect' guys are meant for em biatchezzzz!
Try finding a guy outside your Uni? Sometimes that can work (but rarely). Find someone with great guy friends, and ask them to introduce you. You might find your Prince Charming -
I've been both lucky and unlucky enough to have plenty of experience in the field of break ups and rebound relationships, so believe me when I say that a rebound boyfriend is definitely not the way to go to get over someone else. In fact, it usually makes your pining for that person even worse. The best way to get over someone is to surround yourself with amazing people who never fail to cheer you up.
As for your theory about university and romance, you're at the wrong university! There are quite a few single, straight and relatively good-looking guys here. My idea of good-looking is different to most, so relatively means "by society's standards of good-looking". I can't comment on their personalities though. -
Well, dear, you know my stand on this. There was a reason for the way that he was treating you. And he wasn't treating you right. Uni is for learning and for learning the field of males. When you get out of Uni that is when you start looking for the husband. That is my opinion. By then the men that you deal with should have grown up mostly. But this is just my opinion. I am not trying to be cold-hearted or mean, I have just already gone through with all this before and these were my experiences.
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*sigh* I'm so sorry about the break up, but since it was you who actually did the 'breaking up' with him, that makes it just a bit nicer, right? I mean, since it was your own decision, you know what is right for you, and you did the right thing! If it was the other way around, it might have been sadder, no? Wow, those are some extreme emotions. It's good you're letting it out though. It's really harmful to keep it all in, so let it out however you can. You'll feel better, and you will probably find someone better than him anyway, trust me.
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Agreed. The entire time I was in college I never once really found any guy I really clicked with. Fling here, weird flirtation there, meh.
In high school you're "forced" to hang out in classes and some activities with the same guys year round so you get to know them. At a university there is such a diversity of people that go there (ages, social groups, etc) that it's hard to mesh with someone unless you just walk right up and introduce yourself randomly. I never liked to do that soo... *heehee*
Blah about men who are lame. I remember in the past when I got over breakups I would just try to occupy my mind for several hours afterward (movies, gaming, sleep) until I really felt like thinking about it and "officially" getting over it. Then again I could handle things better on my own than talking to friends, but that's just me, everyone is different and whatever ways work best for you...do that!
It sounds like your "ups" are doing you good though (LOL @ marker mole). The best laughs are always the tummy-aching ones. XD I hope you really do feel better soon, I know its sorta cliche to say that...but I do understand how you feel. -
Maybe time will tell. But I know, you'll get over him soon.
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I'm afraid to read that "truth about romance in uni" article now... it makes me scared of going to uni soon :|
But honestly, you are BEAUTIFUL and, not that i know the guy, but if this is how it turned out, he obviously didn't deserve to be with you so cry all you want for the time being, but step up and don't give him any satisfaction of causing you misery.
Or if you want to bitch and rant, uh, add me on msn - we just may live close enough for me to shoot him down for you ;) -
Really sorry to be a pain and double post (feel free to just add this comment onto the other one... or delete... or well... y'know), but within the first ten seconds of reading that article:
"There are two types of good looking guys in uni:
* Taken
* Gay"
THAT was EXACTLY what my piano teacher said (she's really young). EEk. :'( -
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. Yes, it is harder to get a boyfriend in university, but I guess it also depends on the size of the university. Mine has 70,000 students. Getting a boyfriend from class is almost impossible. With that said however, I did meet mine at a student union party. Maybe you should start joining some clubs and meeting some guys for a couple dates.
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I don't do typicality. So I'll wait for everyone else to sympathise.
Instead, I'll say that I always thought he was a douchebag for trying to change you.