My friend’s boyfriend is a cocky asshole
And if it wasn’t for him being my friend’s boyfriend, I might have been arrested for physical assault today (smashing his nuts). Sorry for the violence, but I’ll explain. (Warning: language used below is unsuitable for young readers. Lol.)
One of my best friends, S, is a nice and modest girl, so I simply did not expect her boyfriend to be such an arrogant nuthead.
When S first introduced me to her boyfriend, I said, “Hi I’m Cheryl.” He looked around, avoided eye contact with me; in summary, he ignored me. I didn’t think much at the time, as I was genuinely quite excited to meet my friend’s new boyfriend, so I wished my friend a fun time with him and left them alone.
Before today, I had pretty much left that bit of memory behind me.
S invited a few friends (including me) and her boyfriend over to her place today. Due to the crappy first meeting between me and S‘s boyfriend, I held my hand out along with the others for a handshake greeting. Great, ‘sif refuse to shake my hand and leave me holding it out awkwardly in the air. I felt a little miffed but shrugged past it, I’m used to awkward situations.
During lunchtime, he babbled on with an arrogant tone. What offended me the most was a claim relating to my chosen career path. It went along the lines of:
Anyone can be a lawyer. I can be a lawyer from reading a book.
Sure, perhaps you can be a lawyer after reading a book of at least 100,000 pages of cases, statute law and textbook explanations (good luck finding such a publication), but there are professional legal training courses to go through before admission to the bar. Perhaps you can do all that, but you also need to get your cocky ass past job interviews. Perhaps if you can do that too, I don’t know what kind of lawyer you’re gonna be, but surely no more than one hell of a dumb fucking blood sucking parasite. Go stick with your Engineering and English. If you’re so great, why don’t you add a Law degree to your CV? It’s only one book away.
He knew that both S and myself are law students. Wasn’t that an incredibly rude remark against his own girlfriend that shows he’s always looked down on her?
S, if you ever come across this post, I swear I have nothing against you personally. But a cocky asshole is no match for a nice girl like yourself, and me and Stephen are definitely not the only ones who think that.
Hev says...
How bloody rude. I am sorry, but S really needs to think about this relationship. If he will do it now then he will do it later if they become more serious. He should have never said those things. I am sorry, Rilla. But you know I tell it like it is. Even if S was my friend I still would have told him to shut his mouth & learn some respect for his girlfriend & her friends.
Posted on 27 June 2010 at 6:47 am
Meg says...
I always hesitate to judge a person based on what I hear, but wow, he sounds like a real jerk. Have you talked to S?
Posted on 27 June 2010 at 3:32 pm
Rilla says...
@Hev: Exactly why I do want to tell S straight up about my impression of him, but they’re in their first month “honeymoon” period, she’ll probably try to find excuses for his attitude and think it’s none of my business.
@Meg: Due to the reason above, I decided I’ll probably wait it out and hopefully she realises soon for herself that he is indeed a jerk.
Posted on 27 June 2010 at 4:15 pm
Charlie says...
That’s incredibly rude, especially if you’re a good friend, you’d think it might be important to him to make a good impression on you, not just blank you. See what he’s like the next few times then maybe say something to your friend.
Posted on 28 June 2010 at 1:18 am
Hev says...
You would think that my DBs would restore. But for some reason they didn’t. It told me that my DBs were in-correct & that there was nothing in them. So I am re-building from scratch. I have most of the pages as txt files, it is just finding the “umfh” to do it, lol.
Posted on 28 June 2010 at 7:17 am
Veronica says...
Wow… that’s pretty rude. It’s just like that old saying, “Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got them and most of them stink.”
Posted on 29 June 2010 at 8:39 pm
Yui says...
I feel like being a lawyer is one of the more complicated professions to master. Just the sheer amount of information you need to know off the top of your head is probably is overwhelming. On top of that, you have know how to use what you know, be able to reason well, and also be good at making people like you… and it seems that this boyfriend has already failed on that last point.
Posted on 30 June 2010 at 4:21 am
Tina says...
You shouldn’t take what he said to heart. After all, this is probably the response he wanted to get out of you (and knowing you, you probably just ignored him).
This is what uneducated people think about professionals. That they make a million dollars by doing absolutely nothing.
It’s nothing to be angry about. In fact, you should be more disappointed at your friend who picked up this uneducated person.
My advice: Confront your friend and tell her everything. She will try to defend her boyfriend. Tell her, as a friend, this guy is not good for her. If your partner looks down on your profession, obviously that isn’t a good match. You’ve given him so many chances on a few encounters but nothing has come of it.
She’ll ignore you.
Then, tell her she dug her own grave.
And when she breaks up with her boyfriend and comes crying to you or your friends, tell her, you warned her and you have no pity for her.
(This has happened many times and I’m pretty sure you’ve seen it too.)
——
I AM LOVING THIS HUGE FONT IN THIS BOX. IT MAKES BLIND PEOPLE LIKE ME HAPPY.
Posted on 30 June 2010 at 5:34 am
Jenny says...
Wow, no offense to your friend and excuse the language, but what a mofo bastard! I hate to be quick to judge like this, but what kind of a guy would be so rude to his girlfriend’s friend for no apparent reason? And ugh, don’t even get me started on how much I hate people who talk smack when they have no frickin clue. -__-
Hopefully your friend will start to see what a real d-bag that guy is and leave him, for her own good.
Posted on 30 June 2010 at 5:42 am
Rilla says...
@Tina: Lol you’re right, I’m the gay arse type that ignores on the spot and bitches behind them afterwards.
Yeah I hate jealous ignorant people who don’t know any better. It doesn’t even have to be a “professional” career, I don’t think you can do well in any career just by reading a book. And lol I just don’t know how you can be such a cold-hearted arse and be so loved at the same time. 
Posted on 30 June 2010 at 10:44 pm
Tina says...
It’s because they know I care enough to be a big enough bitch about it KEK.
MORE BLOGS PRZ.
Posted on 1 July 2010 at 5:10 am
Anita says...
@Tina: Since when is an engineering student ‘uneducated’? Last time I checked, ‘educated’ usually refers to some kind of university degree, and you can correct me if I’m wrong (which I’m 100% sure I’m not)…engineering is a bachelor’s degree at university. How can you say that an engineer is uneducated?
@Rilla: IF your account of things is accurate, I can sympathise and understand where you’re coming from. But, at the same time, you shouldn’t be making such snap judgments about one of your ‘best friends” boyfriends AND post about them on your blog. Plus, if you were in her position, I’m sure you would not like it if someone was bitching about Stephen behind your back. Especially since you know him well while they do not. Give people a chance, some people just don’t know where boundaries lay within different social groups. It doesn’t make them a bad person.
Posted on 1 July 2010 at 7:28 pm
Rilla says...
@Anita: I am sure Tina wasn’t referring to him being uneducated based on his qualifications. In fact, you are being incredibly ignorant if you think anyone with a university degree is considered an ‘educated’ person. Education can refer to school or university, but in this context, the term is used to embody a wider body of knowledge and morals that a person with a degree can lack. A person with straight A’s could have no out-of-classroom common sense and therefore be described as uneducated (like S’s boyfriend).
You know, I actually wouldn’t care so much if my best friend bitched about my boyfriend, because I’d think I know him better. And that also means I recognise that any of my friends have the freedom to make their own judgments based on their opinions and observations. In general, I believe anything can be blogged about, apart from where I would breach a duty of confidentiality or personal privacy. If a friend can’t understand that being unhappy about her boyfriend is different from being unhappy about her, then I don’t need her as a friend. I have a bunch of more open-minded friends.
It is a fact that S’s boyfriend ignored my self-introduction, it is a fact that he refused to shake my hand, and it is a fact he made such a condescending statement. About the first two facts, I didn’t even voice my opinion in relation to them. And even if I had not explained why I was enraged about his statement, I’m sure others would know where the problem is. Are these actions combined with arrogant speech to do with where boundaries lie? I think not, they simply show a lack of courtesy and respect, no explanation needed. Aside from me, the others in the group were not people who are quick to judge, especially my boyfriend, who rarely bitches about other people. Yet as soon as S and S’s boyfriend left, rants began without me starting any drama. Sure, he may not be a bad person depending on how you define ‘bad’, but he definitely portrayed himself as a cocky asshole with low EQ.
All I can say is, you weren’t there. So you don’t know how obviously arrogant the guy made himself. I won’t hold grudges against him if he shows himself in better light in our future encounters. But at this point, he gets a big -100% rating from me.
Posted on 1 July 2010 at 8:04 pm
Anita says...
@Rilla: I stand by my claim that USUALLY when people refer to an ‘educated’ person, they refer to someone with a university/school qualification. It is quite reasonable for me to think that is what Tina meant – it does not make me ignorant. Also, if you still want to insist by your argument – Tina said ‘this is what uneducated people think about professionals’. Well, engineers are professionals also.
“If a friend can’t understand that being unhappy about her boyfriend is different from being unhappy about her, then I don’t need her as a friend”
- I don’t think you can make such a clear division between making comments about a friend, or a friend’s boyfriend/parent/sibling. They are inevitably linked. The natural thing to do is to defend a person who you are close to, and naturally, you WILL be offended if someone publicly attacked a loved one.
Posted on 1 July 2010 at 9:30 pm
Rilla says...
@Anita: I still doubt that is what Tina meant when she referred to him as ‘uneducated’. The quote you picked out would still make perfect sense if it was “this is what uneducated professional people think about other professionals”, which I believe is closer to what Tina meant and can be implied from her original sentence also. Me nor Tina are people who look down on the intellect of unschooled people.
Yes it’s fair to make such a clear division especially when in relation to a new boyfriend. It’s quite common for a close outspoken friend to point out that her friend’s new date is not a great person. You argued that my friend may know him better than I, but do you not agree that people in relationships (especially during the honeymoon period) can often be “blinded by love”? If, because of fear of offending my friend, I decide against letting her know my perception of her boyfriend as an ass, that would make me not a very good friend at all.
Furthermore, this blog post can hardly be deemed as a public attack. Posting my unhappiness here serves two purposes: for me to rant about a general matter to make myself feel better and as a private message to S. Only the people present at our group meeting would know who the characters are, no other person would know who S is. Even if a mutual friend between S and myself wandered upon this post (highly unlikely unless one of us pointed it out to him/her), he/she would not be able to conclude who S is because I have a handful of “S” close friends.
Posted on 1 July 2010 at 10:15 pm
Tina says...
@Anita + Rills
Ok, apparently you guys are blowing things way out of proportion.
How I define professional and educated/uneducated does not matter to you Anita, because I am directing my comment to Rilla. If I were to direct my comment to Anita, I would have done the @sign (which I clearly didn’t).
Yes, other people can read the blog, and comment/defend or whatever, but it does not undermine the fact that this is Rilla’s blog and I am responding to Rilla.
Obviously Rilla understands what I mean with my words, and that’s all I intended it to mean.
— — — –
@Anita (see I did the @sign now)
I don’t understand why you feel the need to correct a total stranger. If you heard someone on the bus saying something not politically correct, are you going to go up to them and tell them they’re not right? It doesn’t change anything. If you wanted to make a point about my incorrect choice of vocabulary, that’s fine (I have bad vocabulary and I know it). But don’t cause drama or blow something I said out of proportion or twist it to mean something totally different (obviously, you are not me, and therefore will never know what I meant). You probably don’t care, and I frankly, don’t care*. There’s no point. Therefore, keep your opinions to yourself. Makes life easier and a whole lot less drama.
* Reason I’m actually spending time to respond is because Rills prompted me to all this dramaaaaaaaaaaaaa
— — — –
GOD RILLS, WHATS WITH ALL THIS DRAMA AND TEXT CRIT. SO MUCH TEXT I DONT EVEN WANNA READ. I think I only read Anitas 1st post before my eyes glazed over.
I left Maple and WoW to avoid dramzzz and now I get it through your blogggggggg…. what’s up with that
Posted on 2 July 2010 at 8:49 am
Anita says...
@Tina: I don’t see it as creating drama at all. I am merely disagreeing with the post. I can do that right?
Posted on 2 July 2010 at 10:44 am
Tina says...
Sure, do whatever you want. It still doesn’t change anything so I don’t see the point.
Learn to RELAX.
Posted on 2 July 2010 at 2:31 pm
Rilla says...
@Anita: Sure, I have the comments function enabled for you to disagree, but it’s not the right way to do it if you’re picking particular words out of a bigger picture, hiding behind a fake identity, and you seem to be lurking around because you somehow have a personal stake in the topic of this post. I shall explain why:
1. You are in Auckland.
2. You are confident about the relationship between me and Stephen before having looked at other parts of my website which explain this relationship. (I can track your actions.)
3. No stranger would put sarcasm quotes around my usage of the term “best friends”.
4. You have at least once accessed this site by clicking the link on my Facebook profile, which means you’re on my Facebook friends list because my profile is private. (I can track this too.)
5. I’ve witnessed a lot of blog dramas/arguments over the past 8 years, and I know from the empirical evidence that 99% of the time, a person who repeatedly comes back to argue over a blog post is someone who has a direct relationship to the matter posted about. You’ve even checked this post multiple times a day for the past three days. Usually this only happens when someone has a close relationship to one of the main characters, or he/she is a main character. (The latter being the most likely.)
6. S herself expressed a related concern with Tina’s comment. Maybe coincidence, and maybe not.
7. Other information which I best not publicise.
All this points toward a simple conclusion: you know me in real life. And since you’re definitely not the only Anita I have on my Facebook list, you’re hiding behind a fake name, coward. As immature and cowardly as a friend who cannot take the honest opinions of another friend.
Tina and I have both been open about our true selves the whole time. So pay some respect by disagreeing with us with your real identity or your future comments will be deleted if I feel like it. You may see this as dictatorship, but it’s a very common blog commenting policy.
Posted on 2 July 2010 at 8:39 pm