The story behind my bestest friendship
“Best friend” should really be used for the one top friend and tends to be mutual. But as I have indicated earlier, I have multiple “best friends”, some of whom may not consider me as a best friend. This is because of the way I “organise” my friendships so that I have friends who are closer than others in different “departments” of my life and activities.
For example, I have an S closest friend in law school, I have an S closest friend in girly gossips, I have an S closest friend who’s also my boyfriend (Stephen), I have closest friends of different countries, I have closest friends of different circles, I have closest friends in different organisations, I have closest friends in different stages of my life… and I often lazily refer to all of them as “best friends”. But my one true best friend, Sean (another S), is my bestest friend.
Sean probably took a big role in shaping who I am today, so my personal profile would not seem complete without introducing him.
The Beginning
We began as classmates when we were 11 and 12. I got along well with everyone, especially well with the males, and especially well with Sean because we were chess buddies/rivals and he tried to edge closer to me in the hope of dating me. 
I believe we maintained close contact even after we got into different high schools because he was stubbornly crushing on me and promising everyone that he won’t give up on me until he was 28 years old. Eventually he gave up after four or five years because I was cruel. Examples:
- I repeatedly told Sean I would never like him because he was “childish and immature and bony”. These adjectives haunted him for many years to come.
- I was naturally “allergic” to Sean, and still am. If he edges close to me, I’d step back. If he edges closer, I’d scream. Out of reflex. So even as best friends, we have never hugged, I have never leant on his shoulder for a cry, and I never allow him to touch me. If we ever accidentally touch each other, I’d get goosebumps and feel like disinfecting myself.
- Apparently there was once I made him be my slave for a day in exchange for my kind grant of some refill paper.
Present Time
I commend Sean for having put up with me over the past 9 years. So far, I probably sound like the worst best friend ever. “Be Cheryl’s friend, just don’t be her best friend.” Naw, I’ve had to tug Sean out of major, major depression a gazillion times from being hurt by evil girls who play with his feelings. As the record stands now, I have been 100% correct whenever I predict that a friend’s date is an asshole based on my intuition, but they don’t like listening to me. Sean has even fought months-long cold wars with me when I gave him honest (but mean) advice because he couldn’t take them like a man. So shame on him for getting hurt time and again, but I’ve never rejected him when he came crawling back like a little baby. Anyone else but Sean, I’d have no pity.
At the moment, we talk about anything and everything, apart from sex. He says he doesn’t want to imagine me… Yeah whatever. We particularly enjoy discussing stupid people, dissing the current girlfriends of my ex-boyfriends and the current boyfriends of his ex-crushes, and ‘rating’ pictures of girls. (I think this shows Sean is an absolute waste of my time…)
And anyways, I recorded this as a part of my birthday gift to Sean this year, showing how great I think he is.
What’s your story? 
Tina says...
It’s funny how you mention this when I was about to blog something of similar sorts. I was having a conversation recently with one of my friends who was stuck distinguishing friends and best friends….and I realized:
I, too, have “best friends” but I realized that the term “best friend,” to me, degrades the rest of my friends and brings them to a lower level. And since then, I’ve adopted a friends approach where everyone is considered a “best friend” and those not close to me I just consider an acquaintance. This stems from the fact that I value all my friends highly (not that you don’t, this is just my approach) and therefore I feel terrible bringing down the rest of my friends to elevate certain individuals. This is also probably because I’m super picky about my friends and some people just don’t understand how blunt/frank/sarcastic/annoying I can be.
So I can’t really give you a story on how I met all my best friends because there’s just too many
BTW, “Apparently there was once I made him be my slave for a day in exchange for my kind grant of some refill paper.
”
MADE MY DAY. I AM DYING.
Posted on 3 July 2010 at 10:02 am
Rilla says...
@Tina: I think you read me wrong Tina. Most of those people I call best friends are friends, but best in a particular area. So like, high school-wise, all of the people who I feel were really friends are best friends to me, and then there are other “friends” who are… I call them friends in front of other people.
I would consider you a best friend of mine too, particularly in America & on the webz.
Posted on 3 July 2010 at 11:27 am
Tina says...
Nah, I know what you meant
It’s just my own personal system KEKE.
Posted on 3 July 2010 at 1:12 pm
Jen says...
When I use “best friend” I’m going by your definition of “one top friend and tends to be mutual”. My best friend and I started off disliking each other and plaguing each others’ life, but we eventually came around, and instead took such antics as jokes, and we’ve been best friends since.
When it comes to what you call “best friends” in certain departments of your life, I call them my “close friends”. And “friends” would be those whose company I appreciate, talk to occasionally, would stop and have a conversation with if I saw them. Anyone else I know would fall into “acquaintances”.
Posted on 5 July 2010 at 1:17 pm
Ali says...
Wait, so he really is your bestest friend? That’s a really interesting story. Funny and awkward, but really cool!
Posted on 5 July 2010 at 4:43 pm
Veronica says...
Very good story… I can almost imagine some of the scenes you described! I am like you… I have best friends in all different parts of my life. At work, at home, in my family. My bestest friend would have to be my sister who isn’t really my sister. We’ve been friends for almost 6 years now.
Posted on 6 July 2010 at 9:42 pm
Jenny says...
I realized that I also have “best friends” in certain categories: a best friend to go out at night with, a best friend to shop and do girly things with, the boyfriend/best friend, etc. I never really questioned if they’ve felt the same way about me, but hey, as long as we have a good time together, I’m happy
Posted on 7 July 2010 at 6:46 am
Jana says...
Wow.. Is that your voice? it’s amazing! I like it.
That’s a nice gift.
Hrm, I don’t have any best friends, I moved the country a lot, and when I was younger I never had a land line or cell phone / internet to stay in contact with most of my young friends. I am on the hunt for Denise Sharp (LOL Dropping the name in case YOU know her somehow.. seeing as you’re in NZ
) I cannot find her on the internet or phone directory or anything. Which is heart breaking because we didn’t really say goodbye when I left Papamoa. She was my closest friend before the age of 14~.
I had a friend in Bulls who I still talk to. We used to be sisters basically, but one day when I was visiting (I had moved away and visited her often) she ditched me for sex with a guy she’d never meet. It was sad because it made me realize that all the gossip about her I had heard was true, and that our relationship was nothing compared to sex with a stranger. She also allowed her friend to get beaten up, after telling him “It’ll be all good, you’re with me, they won’t touch you”. Sigh. I miss talking to her. But I outgrew her as well as the whole ditching me for sex thing I just didn’t want to admit it because she was the only person aside from my BF I trusted.
So now my boyfriend is my bestest ever friend. I tell him everything and anything. I lean on him.. Perhaps to much.. But like you say, I am who I am today because of him. He’s shaped me into this -now- mature, non-smoker / weed smoker, drinker, care about my life Jana. Which is good. I used to be the opposite.
Hrm, this post makes me jealous. I wish I had a friend aside from Jared who I could share everything with. It’s nice.. friendship is nice.. Oh how I miss it.
Posted on 10 July 2010 at 6:56 pm