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Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Let us travel back 2564 years, and explore the ancient Roman mythology. Mars is the God of War, and Venus is the Goddess of Love, and… they were once lovers. A warrior is active and murderous, and a lover is pas­sion­ate. End the explor­a­tion, and look at astrology. Mars is the planet of willpower, energy, sexual drive and aggress­ive behaviour. While Venus is the planet of pleasure and the capacity for love, ability to appre­ci­ate beauty, social grace and friend­ships. Get it? Err…

So now, let’s sub­sti­tute Mars for men, add murderous to aggress­ive, subtract patience from that, and you get a main nature of men — achieve­ment! Look at the next equation: men tend to be task-oriented and self-reliant; add these two together, and you get a species that hate asking for dir­ec­tions or help. My dad would spend three hours wandering around in the winding streets of the city rather than asking one passing homo sapien the way to the Sky Tower. To men, asking for help is a weakness, a failure.

On the other hand, you take Venus’ passion and soci­ab­il­ity and multiple them together, the product is a common char­ac­ter­istic of women — rela­tion­ship; and again, that’s where they get their sense of self from! Us women are inter­de­pend­ent; we enjoy the con­nec­tion with other people. Asking for help is just like building a bridge between one and the other. Simple as that!

Let’s look at the next point then… Men are action-oriented, while women are verbal. Why? Well… You go look at science fiction stories and movies, the aliens involved are always the Martians. When do they ever mention Mer­curi­ans or Uranians? Yeah… And then you have a fierce, fiery fight. So there! Men are action-oriented. If you look at Venusians in that case… See they’re… Venusians… they start with the same letter as “verbal”! Anyways, so there we go, men are action-oriented, and women are verbal.

During the time when men’s testoster­ones mess up their senses, they head outside for sports, or stay inside and throw their tantrums at innocent objects in the room — they’re aggress­ive, they’re action-oriented. But when women are stressed, we get more involved with other people. Words are not just for conveying inform­a­tion oh no, but for exploring and dis­cov­er­ing one’s thoughts and feelings. Yes, we’re the wonderful, wonderful, romantic and pas­sion­ate sex. Love is like oxygen!

Men tend to be com­part­ment­al­ised, they separate different parts of their life from one another. Rela­tion­ship, for one, does not mix with sport. If you study astronomy, you’ll know that the planet Mars has very distinct hemi­spheres. Con­trast­ingly, women connect every part of their life with each other. Yes… We mix it up… It’s blurry… It’s misty… Just like the cloudy atmo­sphere of planet Venus!

That’s why you men can’t expect your girl­friend to be romantic when her computer broke down even though you can’t connect those two things together. Peter 1 Chapter 3 Verse 7 notes: “live with your wives in an under­stand­ing way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman.” The point is the under­stand and cherish and love us! Because we’re women.

Yes, there are a lot of dif­fer­ences between men and women. For example, SEX. We all know… the excite­ment, the pleasure, the… Oh! But as a fellow modern medical Martian student says: “If emotional involve­ment is always required before sex, the human species would be extinct.” Martians do it for the action, and love doesn’t mix with physical pleasure.

A man would be abso­lutely dev­ast­ated to lose a damn job while a woman would jump off the Grafton Bridge for the failure of a close rela­tion­ship. A man needs to be respected, and a woman needs to be cherished. A man needs to be able to provide, and a woman needs to feel provided for. The opposite forces of Martians and Venusians attract, and that’s what brings equi­lib­rium. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; and with the attrac­tion in between, we both end up on Earth. Mm, it starts with the same letter as equilibrium…

A badly written speech when I was 14, though performed to the greatness of epic classroom laughter, espe­cially in the pen­ul­tim­ate paragraph for awesome acting along with sexual inferences.