Month of firsts

Well, I can’t believe I actually hit my Camp NaNoWriMo goal in July. Granted I had to cheat and adjust my initial 20,000-word editing goal down to 15,000, but that was fully justified, methinks, given that my little one arrived 8 days earlier than his due date. So yay! My first Camp NaNo participation and win, and with that, I've made decent headway into the first editing round of Bride Behind the Mask.

As of yesterday, I have also survived my first month as a first-time mum. I wouldn’t have thought it possible back in the first week, but somehow, things feel even tougher now than they were weeks ago.

I guess back then, I had a little hope that there would be an end to all the cluster feeding, and that I could start seeing some longer stretches of night sleep. Indeed, I enjoyed 3-4 hour overnight stretches for a few days, and now it’s gone down to 2-hourly wakings like clockwork, and the baby is a little eating machine whose appetite is off the charts. *yawn*

The small achievement I will celebrate, however, is that I’ve now made it through the first day of the hubby returning to work after his month of paternity leave. Phew.

Really can’t wait until I get to enjoy a little more time to myself during the days though. When can I stop being a milk cow 24/7?

A life-changing week

On 2 July 2020, I became a MILF mum (though I might one day earn my MILF status yet… when the stars align).

In other words, Happy First Week to my baby boy! And happy first projectile poop too.

As relieved and grateful as I am about having my healthy and adorable baby in my arms, I'm not going to pretend that life is now filled with pink hearts and cute Facebook photos just because I have a baby. The truth is I am overwhelmed by the stress and difficulties of handling a week-old newborn.

In the past seven days, I have put up with cluster feeding marathons for five of those days. We're talking nursing sessions from 5am to 1pm one day; 1pm to 7pm the next day; even the average session takes around two hours because he is constantly falling asleep during his feeds. All I have to go on is the self-reassurance that things will get better with time.

It doesn't help that with the Covid-19 border lockdowns in place, my parents have been unable to travel here to help out. So it's just me and the hubby: two clueless first-time parents, learning as we go.

All in all, this week has been a real struggle — physically and emotionally — and I cannot wait until I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I always knew parenthood was hard, but I had no idea just how hard it really is. And I am under no illusion that there will be even greater challenges (and hopefully rewards!) ahead.

This may be a negative-sounding post, but I write in the hope that some weeks or months down the track, I can look back on my memory of this first week and realise that things have indeed looked up.